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Post by Caramel Kryptonite on Apr 21, 2009 16:03:54 GMT -5
Okay, so I have half an angst fic written up. I'm having writers block, so I haven't really written much (a small snippet story for five gods as of yet.
I was wondering what people would think of them, so I decided I'd post the first snippet and see what you people think.
This is Zeus, how he's imprisoned if Percy lost the Titan War:
First is Zeus, Lord of Lightening
He really should have seen it coming. No power can last forever. He' had a good run. But to lose it to his father, Kronos the almighty bastard, makes his teeth clentch in annoyance. Every now and then he lets out a wordless bellow to chase the dark that settles on the dank crypt away. Blast it, if only the celestial bronze bindings hadn't dampened his powers. He would kill for a bit of light. All he knew was that he was very much alone. Solitary confinement. Kronos may be a sore loser, but he was clever. He knew what made them crack. Fortunatly he had spent years making Hera jealous so that if this day came, Kronos would not think to use his sister-wife against him. That made him slightly smug, good plan Zeus, good plan. He was still a prisoner, and he didn't know how long he had been there.
And that boy. That insolent grandson of his. The one that had brought his only half blood daughter in and killed her, tortured her, in front of his eyes. And the girl had not screamed once. Zeus mentally added 'Luke Castellan' to his hit list. It was getting pretty long these days. Really long. Though of course Kronos would remain number one. He hopes the skin will rot on his father's bones, he hopes he would burn in Tartarus. He hopes... he hopes that whatever Kronos does, he will have the conscience to be guilty. That wasn't likely.
Most of all he hates being alone with just his thoughts. No sweet goddess or laughing god to talk with him. No Hera to hold, her purple eyes berating him for his last mistake, soft brown hair done intricatly in a braid. No, he was alone. He lets out another roar, hoping someone will hear him. He wouldn't even mind Dionysus on an off day.
So... opinions?
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Post by Sheva Das on Apr 21, 2009 16:18:59 GMT -5
It's quite good! A few small spelling and grammar mistakes, though.
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Post by Caramel Kryptonite on Apr 21, 2009 16:21:18 GMT -5
Haha, probably. I'll go back and edit once I'm done. This is currently the longest, though not my favorite. I like Poseidon's the best... ;D
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Post by SisterGrimmErin on Apr 21, 2009 16:24:21 GMT -5
I don't think Zeus really cares about Thalia. Also don't think Luke would torment Thalia. We have very little evidence of him prolonging anyone's death. In fact, we've yet to see him succeed in killing anyone. I'm sure he has killed people, but we haven't witnessed any sadism. Also, Zeus kind of ignores Hera. She's a trophy/prize for him. But these are my opinions, and it's well-written.
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Post by Caramel Kryptonite on Apr 21, 2009 16:29:13 GMT -5
Yeah. I guess he doesn't care. I like to think that in the face of death they might care. Maybe. Meh, probably not. Yeah, I don't think Luke would either. But since he's like... 90% Kronos now, anything's possible. He's gone past the point of humanity I think. Like I said, I prefer Poseidon's.
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Post by Sheva Das on Apr 21, 2009 16:30:36 GMT -5
Moved to "Fanfiction" section. This is more of for discussion on fics already posted on FF dot net, or just the PJO section there in general. ;D
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Post by Caramel Kryptonite on Apr 22, 2009 6:11:57 GMT -5
Hmmm... okay. Maybe I should post more here then?
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Post by Sheva Das on Apr 22, 2009 12:16:27 GMT -5
Go ahead, I'd love to read more.
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Post by Caramel Kryptonite on Apr 24, 2009 6:57:47 GMT -5
Okay, well here's the rest of what I have so far Hera, Poseidon and Hades (deleted Artemis' cause it was OOC. Second is Hera, Queen of the Heavens
She has, in her opinion, the worst punishment. Her room is small and dark but somewhere there is a vent. She can hear all the screams of the tortured, when she isn't being tortured herself. And she can pick out every individual voice. Her husband, yelling about, cursing their father. Part of her longs to tell him to hush, but the other wants to run to him and just comfort him in this never ending dark.
She hears Apollo, screaming out for it to end. The once carefree god not pondering about what rhymes with orange. Artemis, strong girl, screaming without the words her brother loves. Athena, wise and proud, now weeping. Hades, silent, she knows, when the metal burns pale skin. Poseidon, screaming for the lost son they all know is still alive, subjected to torture the gods themselves barely withstand. Brave boy, she hears his screams too. He screams for the people he's lost, Hades' son, Zeus' daughter, Athena's Annabeth. The satyr, the others. She screams for no one, just freedom, but never mercy. The screams of her sisters, brothers, children, nieces, nephews, all the rest make her wonder if she's going insane.
She tries to be strong, but part of her just wants to give up. The part that wants to see her family reunited makes her go on. She is the queen of heaven and she will get through this. Somehow.
Third is Poseidon, Earthshaker, Stormbringer
Violent is what he has been called, and violent is how he feels. What he wouldn't give to see Luke Castellan in a pool of his own blood. He shouts profanities in ancient Greek, knowing full well it does nothing. They bring his boy in every so often, after a torture session. He cringes away, he is scarred, the skin burned and red. The boy doesn't look up when he calls his name softly, he babbles to himself, repeating names, the word 'no' and other incoherent words. They've driven him past the point of sanity.
Perseus... brave child, as good as a son as he could have hoped for. Strong too, if he managed to hold out that long. He looks older though, and Poseidon guesses it's been few months of confinement. Merely months of something bound to last centuries. Great. Note the sarcasm. This was so messed up, couldn't anything be simple? Why was he immortal? He wished he could just die. It would be easier. He sighs, collapsing against his chains.
Earthshaker, stormbringer. No, he is pathetic. He can't even stand up straight. He is in pain and he can't stand it. He is weak. His green eyes look wearily up as they bring his son again. Identical eyes meet, but there is no recognition in his son's. Only a shadow of a boy.
Fourth is Hades, the Rich One
Death. He knows it well and now he thinks about it all the time. He doesn't even have that final relase to look forward to. He looks on indifferent as his only son dies, lucky boy. Lucky Nicolai. All the tortures of Tartarus would be better then this horrible... existence. One that will go on and on... and never an end for Hades. Just forever, an eternity passing in a haze of pain and regret. All the things he might have done, should have said.
Hades has never been the good guy, but he'd never be as twisted as the man he calls father. Around him, skulls rest, those of the demigod army. You love death Hades. you don't mind if I put these here... do you? They're just bones after all. Then the laughter that once belonged to a son of Hermes issues forth, low and mocking. He grits his teeth and doesn't say anything. Never again will he let words pass his lips. They are weaknesses, used against you. So as they try to break him, he is silent.
Perhaps that provokes his father's anger. Or perhaps Kronos is grumpy because he can feel his power destroying his vessel. Gray hairs streak the young man's blond head, the gold eyes set in a face appearing well past twenty two. Either way, he can feel the rage. And Kronos loves nothing more then taking it out on one of his sons. Whether Zeus, Poseidon or himself, it's always the worst. And through it all, his mouth is shut. He has never talked much, he's always left that to Persephone. Persephone... his queen hadn't lasted, she had faded away, as if she had never existed. Perhaps she is the lucky one.
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Post by Sheva Das on Apr 24, 2009 12:31:39 GMT -5
Oh, WOW. I almost started crying at Poseidon's. Very powerful...very good...
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Post by SisterGrimmErin on Apr 24, 2009 13:10:49 GMT -5
Very, very good. Though I don't ship Zeus/Hera.
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Post by Ellen on Apr 24, 2009 13:18:29 GMT -5
You ship so little cannon.
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Post by SisterGrimmErin on Apr 24, 2009 14:45:03 GMT -5
Thuke is canon. I also ship Percabeth and Beckendorf/Silena.
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Post by Caramel Kryptonite on Apr 24, 2009 14:49:28 GMT -5
Aw, thanks people To each thier own, right Erin?
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Post by SisterGrimmErin on Apr 24, 2009 16:23:34 GMT -5
Lol, yes... Caramel Kryptonite. Do people call you something easier to say? But yes. It's very well-written.
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